A divorce can be among the most stressful events that someone can experience in life. It can be an even more difficult issue to deal with when there are children involved. The US may not have made it to the top 10 list of countries with the highest divorce rates, but the numbers are still very high.
This means every year, thousands if not millions, of children watch their parents’ marriage fall apart. This can be an overwhelming thing to experience for a child, no matter their age. In a divorce that involves children, the court’s priority is to ensure the kids are well taken care of.
It starts looking into visitation rights and which parent gets to maintain primary custody. A common misconception that still circulates is that courts are often biased toward a mother in such situations. Fathers seem to be the ones at a disadvantage, granted severely restricted visitation schedules.
Now that is not true; it’s a myth and we will bust it in this article. Keep reading to understand family laws and how they determine child custody. You will understand that mothers are not always the “favored” ones.
Determining Child Custody Arrangements
Across many US states, there is nothing known as a child custody agreement. The proper term for it is a parenting plan which determines the residential schedule for the child in question. In other words, the parenting plan helps determine how long the child will spend with each parent.
There are more aspects that the parenting plan covers. For instance, it may include information on how conflict resolution is to take place while making major decisions associated with the child’s life. Decision fatigue and arguments are all real aspects of parenting, whether jointly or by oneself.
At the time of developing a parenting plan, the family court will look into several important factors about the case at hand. Now, whether a parent happens to be a father or a mother is not usually one of those factors.
Do mothers win primary custody of their children? Yes, but that is not the norm as some believe. If the court deems a father to be more capable and willing to be the custodial, it will grant them primary custody. Sometimes, even parents jointly agree to make the father the main custodial, so the final decision differs on a case-to-case basis.
Factors Used to Decide Child Custody
Ideally, both parents should reach an agreement regarding their child’s custody. This is commonly known as the parenting plan across many states. If that does not happen, the presiding judge will have no choice but to make a decision.
This decision will be given once each parent has had the chance to present their case. A wide range of factors are usually considered. It will all start with at least two primary things –
- The physical location of the child as well as visitation rights
- How major decisions about the child will be made
The verdict will be given based on the child’s best interests. One thing that is assumed without any case being presented is the role of both parents in the child’s life. Judges are free to use several factors in determining custody, but they want each parent involved in their child’s life.
Let’s look at the main considerations that help a judge determine child custody –
- A parent’s role in the child’s life before divorce
- Both parents’ physical and mental health
- Criminal records
- The relationship between the parents
- The relationship the child shared with each parent
- The physical location of the parents and the child
- The child’s relationship with their siblings, if any
- The employment schedule of each parent
- The child’s preferences, especially for those above 12 years of age
Exceptions may exist depending on the state, especially if the parents were unmarried at the time of the child’s birth. For instance, Hudson, Reed, & Christiansen share that if such a case is presented in Tennessee, the court will grant the mother full custody until the father proves paternity.
Changing Laws Regarding Prejudice Against Fathers
Considering the factors we have discussed above, it is clear that child custody may be awarded to either of the parents. Then, why do people still believe that the mother almost always gets primary custody?
This may have been true in our grandparents’ generation. It could be true for our parents’ too (depending on the state). However, that’s no longer the case today. All decisions family courts make today are based on the child’s best interests.
Now, you may know a couple who just got divorced and the mother won primary custody. Is that proof of prejudices against fathers? That’s unlikely, because it may just be a case where the mother may be deemed more capable of looking after the child.
In some cases, mothers end up battling a case for years just to win custody. A recent example is that of LaShanta Reeves of Murfreesboro, Tennessee. She’s been trying for five years to win custody of her four children.
Despite evidence of potential abuse by her ex-spouse, Reeves hasn’t received custody yet. Family laws can be complex and local Murfreesboro lawyers should be able to help.
They can provide legal guidance, gather evidence, and prepare a strong case to ensure the verdict is given in the child’s best interests. Such cases still clear up the myth that a mother is automatically and always favored at the time of determining custody.
Unfavorable Facts and Ways to Address Them
Family courts have a lot of discretion when it comes to decisions regarding child custody. This means even seemingly innocuous facts can be used against the parent to prevent full or joint custody. Listed below are a few of those unfavorable facts –
- Family violence or abuse, even if the act was not committed against the child in question
- Prior intervention from law enforcement or a child protection agency
- If the parent or someone in their household has a substance abuse disorder
- Inability to effectively communicate and work things out with the spouse
- Living too far from the child’s community or school
- A highly demanding work schedule
Now, these factors are undoubtedly obstacles to custody, but they’re still not absolute bars. Either of the parents can turn the court’s decision in their favor if they take steps to address unfavorable facts.
Let’s see a few ways to show the court of one’s improvement –
- Enrolling for anger management courses
- Entering a rehab
- Getting therapy
- Finding a new home or job
- Limiting contact with individuals who may pose a serious threat to the child
- Hiring helps to minimize scheduling conflicts
As per the latest government census, the national divorce rate has slightly declined between 2008 and 2022. They are still high because half of all children in the country will experience the ending of their parent’s marriage.
When that happens, the court’s primary concern is to provide the child with a safe and supportive environment. Lastly, court orders are not always final and can be modified if that’s in the child’s best interests.